Wednesday, September 3, 2008

NOT an abandoned Blog

I know this looks like I've completely abandoned this blog and probably my New Year's Resolutions with them. It's really not the case.

I'm still working hard on those goals and creating the work habits and attitudes that I need to reach those goals. I've just been swamped with my day job and haven't taken the time to write.

I'm making an exception today because I want to use writing to reinforce something that just continues to sink in. I complain way too much. It's funny because I always considered myself a non-complainer. My mom used to say I was 'easy to have around', 'easy to please'. And in many ways I am. I think compared to the national average, I probably complain less than average and am a more optimistic and upbeat person than average.

BUT..... I still complain WAY too much. I complain about the complainers. I complain about someone sending me a note that makes no sense. I often complain only in my mind, but that is still mental cycles being spent in a negative way.

One of the audio books that I've been listening to, and I can't remember which one to give them credit, makes the point that a complaint is focusing on what you don't like, but what you should focus on is what you do want, which is your preference. Now, it's easy to think that restating a complaint as a preference might go like this.

Complaint: Martin sent me this note, but he forgot to give me the URL where he received this error.
Possible Restatement: I'd prefer to work with smart people, not morons.

Ha ha.... okay, that's a little extreme, but you get my point that, you can pretend to state something as a preference and still be complaining.

But the real preference would be -- I wish the notes between Martin and me were more useful. The thing is as soon as I state it that way and accept poor Martin (not his real name) as he is, then I begin to focus on -- is there something I can do to make our communication more effective.

I need to get back to work, but I'm really working hard to reduce complaints and to state what my preference would be instead.

Wishing everyone well with their resolutions.

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