Saturday, September 20, 2008

Who Cares the Most

I saw the headline 83-Year Old Deaf Woman Defeats Mugger and suddenly I understood. How could an 83-Year Old woman have beaten a young man? Because it mattered more, much more, to her, than it did to him. He stood only to gain a small amount of money. She wanted to keep her money, but more than that, she was NOT going to pushed around and victimized. And it REALLY mattered to her.

The book, Think and Grow Rich states that instead of telling you how to Think and Grow Rich, that the author, Napolean Hill, wants you to figure out the lessons that the following stories illustrate. One of the stories is about a small black girl getting money from a powerful, rich white man who has already told her to stop pestering him or she will be sorry. The question is asked, how could she have won out over him and gotten what she wanted? And, at the risk, of appearing dumb, while I had a vague notion, I'd never had a succinct answer, until today.

That little girl and this 83-year-old defeated much more powerful men, because IT MATTERED MORE TO THEM.

When you look at your goals, ask yourself, how much does it matter to you? Because THAT exactly represents your chances of reaching your goal.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

NOT an abandoned Blog

I know this looks like I've completely abandoned this blog and probably my New Year's Resolutions with them. It's really not the case.

I'm still working hard on those goals and creating the work habits and attitudes that I need to reach those goals. I've just been swamped with my day job and haven't taken the time to write.

I'm making an exception today because I want to use writing to reinforce something that just continues to sink in. I complain way too much. It's funny because I always considered myself a non-complainer. My mom used to say I was 'easy to have around', 'easy to please'. And in many ways I am. I think compared to the national average, I probably complain less than average and am a more optimistic and upbeat person than average.

BUT..... I still complain WAY too much. I complain about the complainers. I complain about someone sending me a note that makes no sense. I often complain only in my mind, but that is still mental cycles being spent in a negative way.

One of the audio books that I've been listening to, and I can't remember which one to give them credit, makes the point that a complaint is focusing on what you don't like, but what you should focus on is what you do want, which is your preference. Now, it's easy to think that restating a complaint as a preference might go like this.

Complaint: Martin sent me this note, but he forgot to give me the URL where he received this error.
Possible Restatement: I'd prefer to work with smart people, not morons.

Ha ha.... okay, that's a little extreme, but you get my point that, you can pretend to state something as a preference and still be complaining.

But the real preference would be -- I wish the notes between Martin and me were more useful. The thing is as soon as I state it that way and accept poor Martin (not his real name) as he is, then I begin to focus on -- is there something I can do to make our communication more effective.

I need to get back to work, but I'm really working hard to reduce complaints and to state what my preference would be instead.

Wishing everyone well with their resolutions.