Saturday, September 20, 2008

Who Cares the Most

I saw the headline 83-Year Old Deaf Woman Defeats Mugger and suddenly I understood. How could an 83-Year Old woman have beaten a young man? Because it mattered more, much more, to her, than it did to him. He stood only to gain a small amount of money. She wanted to keep her money, but more than that, she was NOT going to pushed around and victimized. And it REALLY mattered to her.

The book, Think and Grow Rich states that instead of telling you how to Think and Grow Rich, that the author, Napolean Hill, wants you to figure out the lessons that the following stories illustrate. One of the stories is about a small black girl getting money from a powerful, rich white man who has already told her to stop pestering him or she will be sorry. The question is asked, how could she have won out over him and gotten what she wanted? And, at the risk, of appearing dumb, while I had a vague notion, I'd never had a succinct answer, until today.

That little girl and this 83-year-old defeated much more powerful men, because IT MATTERED MORE TO THEM.

When you look at your goals, ask yourself, how much does it matter to you? Because THAT exactly represents your chances of reaching your goal.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

NOT an abandoned Blog

I know this looks like I've completely abandoned this blog and probably my New Year's Resolutions with them. It's really not the case.

I'm still working hard on those goals and creating the work habits and attitudes that I need to reach those goals. I've just been swamped with my day job and haven't taken the time to write.

I'm making an exception today because I want to use writing to reinforce something that just continues to sink in. I complain way too much. It's funny because I always considered myself a non-complainer. My mom used to say I was 'easy to have around', 'easy to please'. And in many ways I am. I think compared to the national average, I probably complain less than average and am a more optimistic and upbeat person than average.

BUT..... I still complain WAY too much. I complain about the complainers. I complain about someone sending me a note that makes no sense. I often complain only in my mind, but that is still mental cycles being spent in a negative way.

One of the audio books that I've been listening to, and I can't remember which one to give them credit, makes the point that a complaint is focusing on what you don't like, but what you should focus on is what you do want, which is your preference. Now, it's easy to think that restating a complaint as a preference might go like this.

Complaint: Martin sent me this note, but he forgot to give me the URL where he received this error.
Possible Restatement: I'd prefer to work with smart people, not morons.

Ha ha.... okay, that's a little extreme, but you get my point that, you can pretend to state something as a preference and still be complaining.

But the real preference would be -- I wish the notes between Martin and me were more useful. The thing is as soon as I state it that way and accept poor Martin (not his real name) as he is, then I begin to focus on -- is there something I can do to make our communication more effective.

I need to get back to work, but I'm really working hard to reduce complaints and to state what my preference would be instead.

Wishing everyone well with their resolutions.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Seeing Yourself in the Best Light

Almost everyone agrees that confidence and positive self-esteem are important for getting things done and reaching your goals. Well here is a new twist on a way to build your self-esteem.

This came from the book, The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz. The idea was basically to make a commercial or ad for yourself. Either something that you put in writing, or even do it as a Powerpoint presentation or create a short video. So mine might go something like this:

Diana Wright -- a year ago she was just another debt-ridden woman fighting middle-age spread, but today she is trim, vivacicious and creating success after success for herself. A soon-to-be lakefront homeowner, Diana Wright is an example of how hard-work, positive mental images and success-coaching can transform your life from the mundane to the mind-boggling fantastic.

Now you can take this as far as you want. You can simply write these words or something similar (hey, the presidential candidates have all kinds of different commercials, I see no reason to stop at one. I'll write several and see which has the most positive effect). Anyway you can write words like this on a card and read it once or twice a day. Or put it on your computer to some kind of theme music. What the hell, I guess you could make up your own personal jingle. Actually I always liked the theme from Mary Tyler Moore

Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly
make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it's you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it

Love is all around, no need to fake it.
You can have the town, why don't you take it.
You're gonna make it after all

At any rate the idea is to sell you on yourself, so that you can greet each day just exuding confidence and energy.

As one more aside to simply promote enthusiasm and it's effect. My husband was coaching a baseball team this weekend and one kid stood out in terms of his enthusiasm. The team was losing and it wasn't that this kid was killing himself to win, he just had positive energy pouring out of him. He gave some war whoops and knocked a couple kids helmets and mostly just made people smile and get UP!!! It was priceless, contagious and definitely helpful to get kids starting to hit again.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Still Making Strides

Well I'm literally still making strides toward my goals. In particular my goal of fitting into all the clothing in my closet kind of stalled out in late June when

  1. The weather turned hot, too hot to run at lunchtime certainly.

  2. I no longer dropped my son off at school putting me right at the start of a good running route twice a week.

So I joined a gym at a summertime special rate and I go there once or twice a week and now this last week my son and I have been going down to the track and running repeated 200 meter intervals.

They say that short, but not too short at least 30 seconds, high-intensity bursts of exercise are ideal for losing weight. I've read the science of why this is and... well, I'll be honest, I don't really get it.

One thing I DO understand, is that the muscles I've been using going for 2, 3, 4 mile runs.... they are not an exact match for the muscles I use sprinting down the track. Oh, my..... I discovered some seriously underused muscles. In fact, when I went to sprint, I discovered I barely remembered the form involved in running fast. I used to be a GOOD high school track athlete. Okay, yes that was back in 19.., a long time ago. Well the important thing is we found this good workout, that both my son and I saw our times improve simply in doing it two times AND... we enjoy doing it together. Hell, any activity that a 46-year-old mom and her 16-year-old son can go do together and really enjoy... well it doesn't get any sweeter than that.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Wow! Lake House Dream!

Funny how different people have different triggers -- things that spark them to either rage or joy, hard-work or depression, but sparks that can completely alter their course (different direction or speed).

For me that just happened, I picked up a local paper and in the classifieds, saw a listing: ADIRONDACK 152 Acres, State Land, Utilities $129,900.

Or Adirondack 5 acres 200' on lake $59,900 -- another Wow. I am cutting these out, because I can see it in my minds eye and it triggers great hopes, dreams and ambitions in me.

And no, the picture wasn't with the ad, but it will give you some idea of what I saw as THE dream, part of MY dream. I grabbed it from, which is one of several sites that has free graphics. I learned about on this webpage about free graphics for websites.

Wow! Lake House Dream!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Visualizing Success

When I'm getting dressed in the morning, my stomach muscles are actually starting to rise to the surface and have some definition. The wonderful thing about this is that I can envision on myself exactly the stomach and body that I want to have. I can squint or simply focus on what is good and blur away the chubby excesses that have still to fade away.

This makes exercising all much more exciting, because I have a clear mental image of the body I want, the body I am recreating. I actually don't mind doing the abdominal bicycling exercise beccause when I am doing them, I am picturing the sculptured body that I am obtaining.

I don't know if I am quite as far evolved in picturing my financial success taking shape, but I am making progress there as well.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Selling Dreams

I was listening to a sales expert talk this morning and he commented that what you are really selling with any product is a dream. This was a lightbulb moment for me. Whether it is the dream of being thin (weight-loss product), having more energy (health-related products), a great relationship (online dating services), etc. We are really selling the dream. He commented that's why some people become seminar-junkies, going off to learn about making money online or in real estate and not actually taking action. They purchase the dream, the product that helps them see themselves with the life they want.

People need to have hope for a better life. It is said that you can endure almost any horrid condition if you have a reasonable hope of your life improving. But people with better conditions, but a life they are disatisfied with and no hope of anything changing, those people are usually depressed.

And in America, is it no wonder we have such avid consumers, when you think of products representing dreams. Don't we talk about 'the American dream?' as though part of being a citizen of the country is that we of course expect (generally through hard-work and ingenuity) to have an ever-increasing standard of living -- the dream of a better future.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Where's Diana?

Sorry I haven't been posting much. I often THINK blog posts, but I don't seem to be near the computer when I think them. Am I still committed to my goals even though I'm not writing about them every day?

Yes, absolutely.

P.S. You might say this isn't much of a blog post, but I felt the longer I waited to post, the more significant a post I had to write. I was running the risk of getting in a vicious cycle and falling out of my habit of writing at least a few times each week.

But now with this silly, simple post, I'm back to writing again.

Friday, May 30, 2008

I Act Even When I Don't Feel Like It

Well all the self-help guru's talk about making affirmations and stating them out loud. Anything from the simple,

I like myself.


I can handle it.

to the more specific traits and goals you want to embody:

I am a runner.

I am paying off my debts this year. All of my debts.

I run or walk 15 miles each week, every week.

The one affirmation that I've heard in all of the books, that most works and rings true to me, is:

I act even when I don't feel like it.

It came from.... can you guess?? The Millionaire Mindset by T. Harv Eker. What is funny is that I actually think of this affirmation at least as often in terms of exercising as I do in terms of earning money.

So what affirmations, or self-talk, do you use the most?? Or do you make these sort of statements to yourself at all?